“When I first heard on the radio traffic report about an accident on the highway, I thought they meant someone wet their pants.” Big A, age 4

I am not too worked up about Facebook and Twitter. I realize they are free and usually stuff doesn’t annoy me about them but the chat issues really bug me. Since I miss half or they don’t go through, people might think I am RUDE! I don’t want that to happen. Thanks for reading!!!

Being Canadian I often get riled up at the misspelling of words that should have a u in it but don’t. “I heard a rumour that his bad behaviour at the harbour was due to the boat not being his favourite colour”. This is certainly regional but since there’s only one region doing it differently I (personally) believe that it’s “wrong”. It’s just a matter of percentages. But if the letter u is getting slowly phased out, it’s not surprising that other letters are on the way out too. Take, for example, the rampant use of (your snowflakes are driving me insane, just thought I’d share that with you) LOL and other text-based shortcuts. I’m fairly sure that pretty soon you’ll be able to simply tap your phone on my head and know what I’m thinking. Conversations will then become nothing more than people bonking each other on the head with their phones.

Don’t get too worked up about the functionality of Twitter and Facebook; by the time you figure out what you like and don’t like they’ll change it. And then do it again (and probably again). It’s what you get with free opt-in services.

Hope you feel better soon, although I’m not too concerned about a follow-up rant if you don’t. It took you 23 years to get this one off your chest, I’ll be (gulp) 67 the time the next one comes out. And I won’t even have to read it – Bonk.